In matters Kenyan
politics, Tinga is that brusque
know-it-all bully in the school. Walks around with unkempt hair, rarely tucks
in his shirt, hits out at everybody at the slightest or no provocation and
never apologizes. He is, however, loved by his classroom majority for his
indecent jokes about the school administration and for his enviable football
skills. Everybody agrees he is an excellent footballer despite the fact that he
has scored blanks in virtually all major interclass competitions. He has been the
de facto captain and the “ever-fit” most reliable striker for his class but has
never led them to a single trophy. He has shielded himself from ridicule by a
surrounding himself with hangers on that form the school’s (read Tinga’s) cheering squad. His teammates,
since form one, have accused him of selfishness and gross violations of team
ethics. He lacks the ability to work in a team, bosses everyone around and some
even accuse him of using voodoo in the games. Now in form four West, his
supporters remain hopeful that things may look a little different but
skepticism still sinks deep.
Observers have noted,
with indignation, how vocal he has been in pushing the school’s sporting
director to chance the manner in which interclass games are played. He has, in
the recent past, vehemently opposed the league tournaments (which in the wisdom
of the sporting director, gives every class an equal chance to win the annual
tournament). He is a strong supporter for Pool tournaments which he believes
will or may work for his advantage. Experts argue that by switching to Pool
tournaments, the arrangement may enable him to rely on the lower classes to
edge out his toughest opponents, especially in the much hyped form three North.
Form three North has arguably been his single most threat to the trophy. Tinga’s propositions have however been
received with mixed reactions, as he had been forcing these wild ideas through
in the midst of a chicken pox outbreak in the school. He has been acutely
criticized for drafting a sample of how he intends the groups to play out. By
luck or design, he has pooled form three North in the group of death with his
class enjoying a soft schedule against mostly the form ones.
Kamwana
is that spoilt rich kid with an accent. He is full of mischief but no one ever
dares report him to the authorities. The class agrees he is a cool classmate to
hang out with as he often (read always) buys all the drinks. The only
reservation they have is that the guy suffers from sporadic anger outbursts
that if unchecked, may land him in deep trouble someday. He however, largely
remains amongst the favorite students in the class. He is sitting for his form
four exams for the second time after performing dismally in his last attempt
which perhaps explains why he is obsessed with improving the class mean score.
He happens to be repeating the same mistakes by over borrowing books from the
school library that he rarely reads. He has lost almost all of the borrowed
books to book thieves and cartels. He rarely prepares for exams but instead
makes last minute studies for the same. He has, on several occasions, been
spotted burning the midnight oil in a desperate effort to better his grades.
He’s surrounded himself with several groupies who pretend to be helping him
study when in reality, they know nothing about any of the subjects. His preferred study partners in hacking the
Business Studies and Biology exams failed him terribly during the chicken pox
outbreak with their farfetched ideas on how to come out tops “irregardless” of
the circumstances.
As the current class
captain for form four Central, Kamwana
enjoys excessive support from virtually everyone in the classroom, which by
chance or design, has students from the same budding town. He often abuses the
bestowed privileges by mistreating his supporters. For instance, he sales
virtually everything to his classmates and the school at large while telling
them how he empathizes with their condition. Ones in a while, he makes
“generous” donations to his classmates in the form of free lunch but never
fails to remind them to support his advocacy for the proposed Pool tournaments.
He has a strange bromance with form four West’s football captain with whom they
are strongly advocating for a change in the footballing structure. Everybody,
however knows that he is an average striker that relies on his team’s central
midfield to succeed. His class’s football team has a solid central midfield
that can transform anyone, who can run and knows the basics of football, into a
lethal striker. It is nonetheless surprising to note that, as the defending
champion, things are looking bleak for him after several players from his team
have been reported seeking admission in other schools.
MaDVD
is the timid backbencher with a surprisingly sober brain. He is the only
backbencher that is rarely on the noise makers list and one that often answers
questions directed to the backbenchers. He can drastically improve his academic
performance but instead chooses to compete with a group of three or four fellow
backbenchers in form two West. He is desperate to be worshipped by his groupies
at the back that he forgets he has the potential to challenge those ones
sitting at the front row. He’s probably not privy to the fact that sitting at
the back makes you perennially exposed to the teacher’s ridicule while
occupying the front seats may save dumb heads as the front row often bypasses
the teacher’s attention. He’s made himself comfortable as an average performer
achieving a 48% mean score as the fellow backbenchers wallow in their 30%
average.
He has quite enviable football skills but
suffers from inherent flaws such as back peddling and issuing back passes even
when presented with clear scoring chances. Besides, he is often in an offside
position which renders his skills useless. Character-wise, he remains to be an
overly calm and cautious individual, a feature that places him at the mercies
of bullies who’ve stepped on his toes on many occasions. A day scholar himself,
he will take beatings from anyone in silence, especially while at school. On
reaching his backyard however, he is likely to utter obscenities at the
assailant as he slams their front gate. He may even strategically throw a
frivolous cowardly blow or kick at the assailant before jumping over the fence
and into their compound.
The Hustler in chief is
that pious rebellious assistant class captain that has adamantly refused to
execute his duties as per the school constitution. Last week, the noise makers
list and the list of those who absconded their community service duties went missing.
The form four central class captain was out with a bout of flu which prompted
him to delegate his duties to him. Duties that were never executed. Hustler is
amongst the few individuals hailing from a different township from a majority
of his classmates. Through charisma and hard work, he earned their trust to the
point of being elected the class’s vice-captain. He has been busy talking to
and luring peers in other schools to transfer to his school, and most
importantly, to his class. An outright insurgent, he is very critical of the
leadership of his senior whom he is supposed to advice. It would have been
easier for him to succeed at his newly-found mission as a commoner but as a
class prefect, the title accords him enormous freedoms and privileges that have
perhaps made it difficult for him to resign.
Quite a dependable
striker himself, he ones led form One North to the finals. A feat that has
never been achieved before. He, nevertheless, lost out lack of experience and a
malfunctioning VAR. He, however has the bragging rights as the current
defending champion, having transferred to form three and subsequently form four
central in his later years. As the co-striker of the form four Central football
team, he seems quite reluctant to render his services citing recurrent groin
injuries. The allegations seem to be baseless as he has been spotted, on
several occasions, juggling and playing with the form three East and West
football teams. He acknowledges that his time in the school will soon be over
and perhaps wants to pass his knowledge and skills to the young generation.
Rumor has it yet that he plans on skiving the KCSE exams so that he can sit
them the following year. He is quite confident of getting an admission in the
same school as it is not only his football that places him in the limelight. He
has an excellent academic record. A master of pep talk, trickery and
arm-twisting, he is able to transform an average team into a lethal attacking
force. He is a fairly well off individual that has been accused of using his
financial muscle to issue bread crumbs to the financially disadvantaged
schoolmates with much publicity. He has apparently witnessed commendable
success with his antics as his daily evening training sessions are often packed
to the brim. His approach of training with the form threes has brushed his
class captain and his new ally the wrong way. He does not seem to care much as
he is a proponent of status quo in and by himself. He has paradoxically and in
some weird jargon voiced his concerns over the planned changes to the manner in
which the interclass tournaments are held. He believes, it is the players that
win a game and not the system.
In matters academic, he
has severally been quoted as saying that he is a slow learner. His report card
speaks differently though. His haters accuse him of double standards. He seems
to the type of guy who swears by the heavens that he has not prepared for his
exams knowing very well he’s mastered every imaginable topic in that subject.
Just waiting for the D-day to floor his classmates and look at them in
bewilderment. He has key phrase he uses to dismiss any questions to that
effect. “Ni kujipanga my friend”.
The rest can be summed
up in the persona of the latest addition to the race, the “little known” Dr.
Kituyi. Doktari is that smart kid in
the classroom who rarely associates with anyone. He has topped the Form Four
West class since joining in form one. He lacks social skills but is quite
instrumental in representing the class, and the school at large, at regional
academic contests. The School Principal’s trophy cabinet is full solely from
his accomplishments. The school takes pride in his achievements but has never
bothered to engage him at a personal level to understand what makes him that
different. He’s never been approached to address his peers on how to achieve
such good grades. Virtually everyone in the school loves him safe for a few
individuals in his class, who out of jealousy, quote his past failures as a
class prefect in his former primary school.
They would rather excel in football tournaments as led by their favorite
candidates than achieve academic success. They will find every reason to reject
him.
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